The worst part about crocheting is the dementors. I mean rolling of the yarn into a ball first. That.
You're supposed to roll the entire skein of yarn into a ball before you start unless you like just having a huge mess of yarn on your hands that you just eventually give up on and throw out because ain't no one got time to sit and unwind an entire skein of tangled yarn.
It's Saturday night and we're supposed to be getting ready to go out on a date but I love space and also sex and we're probably going to be late for our reservation 🫠😈
The book, A Brief History of Time, was written by Stephen Hawking back in the late 1980s as an "easy" read in non-technical terms for your everyday casual space observer. It covers the history of the universe which can be quickly divided into two major ideas:
1. General Relativity (theorized by Einstein back in 1915! In simple terms it theorizes that gravity, the same stuff that holds us onto the surface of the earth, pulls on time in the same way. And if something is big enough, gravity can be strong enough to warp time around an object as it pulls it.)
AND
2. Quantum Mechanics (a fancy word for theories for physics that are at the level of atoms, or even smaller than atoms).
Hawking also covers the idea of a unified theory, which talks about how despite everything we know, there's no single theory that explains how the universe came to be. It's also colloquially known as The Theory of Everything :)
Lounging around enjoying sliding my tentacle dildo in and out of my pussy where it stretches me out and teases my clit until I ride it hard from behind to cum! 😻🩷💜🩵
The full 9+ video is in your inboxes!
Happy Friday!
Here's a little good morning snap from my latest video - lounging around enjoying sliding my tentacle dildo in and out of my pussy where it stretches me out and teases my clit until I ride it hard from behind to cum!
Cum back tonight to see the a long clip and the 9+ minute video in your inboxes waiting for you! 😻🩷💜🩵
When you ask me if I have any plans for the upcoming weekend...this. This is what I'm doing on the weekend 😈💋
A little history lesson about tentacle porn: it originated in Japan a couple hundred years ago as erotic art which, over generations, manifested itself into Manga in the 1960s. It's also closely related to monster erotica, which credits Dracula (1897) as turning horror into erotica by creating sexy vibes between a "monster" and an attractive woman.
Happy Hump Day!
Here's a little treat to help you get through the week 🩵💙💜
The full video is in your inboxes for the lowest price OF lets me send it!
Hump Day throwback! Each Wednesday I'll bring back one of my best-performing sets from the archives!
Cum back tonight for a clip on my wall, and a low priced PPV of this to your inboxes to help you get through the week 😊💜💙🩵
I've covered women's suffrage a bit recently so I won't dive into the complicated history of how women secured the right to vote in 1920 again, but whoever did the typeface for their banners and pins really captured the old-timey feel of the lettering.
It's a nice contrast to my Skims thongs and maybe there's irony there?
Anyway, enjoy the view 💋
How was your Monday?
Cum take a load off! 🤭
The full 5+ min video is in your inboxes!
Happy Monday!
Hopefully this makes it a little bit better. 😈🖤
Fun history fact: It wasn't until 1971 that Monday was officially declared the start of the international business work week! There's a pretty long but interesting history on how the modern workweek evolved.
Concisely: back in Ancient Rome, the workweek was 8 days long, followed by a period of rest. In French culture it was 10 days of work, and one day of rest. In Imperial China, it was five days of work, followed by a day off for rest and "washing one's hair," which, if your hair is as long as mine is absolutely an hours-long affair and a day off specifically for that would be delightful.
Cum back tonight for a clip from my latest video here on my wall!
I just really like this lingerie set 🩵💙
2024-08-18 11:00:28 +0000 UTC View Post
Crochet, or the act of using a single hook to create interlocking loops of yarn into patterns, has been linked to shepherds in England, and needlework practices from ancient China. The modern version of today is more closely linked to pioneers, having had access to more widely available hand-produced yarn, and creating blankets with it.
Fun fact: there are “sheep and wool” festivals all over the world where shepherds, yarn-makers and hobbyists convene to appreciate the art of fiber arts. It’s like stepping back in time watching people shear sheep and immediately spin the wool into yarn, dye it, and make things with it right in front of you. Nerdy, but cool.
PS: Knitting is different! It uses two pointed needles and utilizes a totally different set of maneuvers to create stitches. Knitting and crochet are not interchangeable words :)
When he says, “hey, I brought four pounds of crawfish and some daiquiris.” 🦞
2024-08-16 05:00:04 +0000 UTC View PostVector, The CyberUnicorn, is made by Bad Dragon, and is by far the biggest dildo I've ever tried. It took me all morning to figure out how to ride it in different positions but after a little while I got the hang of it 😈
Cum check out the full video (10+ minutes) of me riding it in all different ways. I couldn't walk the rest of the day and it was well worth it 💋
The 1940s-style bandana came out because of women entering the workforce during WW2. While a large of number of women DID work before the war, by and large they were not working in factories with heavy machinery.
With women entering the workforce in droves to take the place of men, they were subject to a huge lack of safety protocols or appropriately fitting uniforms to keep them safe - women’s sizes weren’t manufactured on a large scale at that time. As a result, they wore men’s dungarees and cuffed the legs and rolled up the sleeves of men’s workwear shirts. Perhaps most the most iconic is the bandana to contain the hair, as it appeared on Rosie the Riveter, which became ubiquitous with a working woman of the 1940s.
That said, the NY Times still ran an article entitled “Training for War Work to Help Women Keep both Health and Looks.” that instructed women to still look like a perfectly presentable housewife after leaving the factory. And they weren’t the only ones. Magazines still pressured women to look like a pinup in her factory gear by offering self-directed quizzes to determine their “feminist quotient” in the workplace.
That said, the Hollywood pinups of that time began changing their hair, donning bandanas and pinning up their hair as a way to inspire the every day woman to follow suit in the name of safety.
I didn’t get the memo on the workwear but I did learn how to tie my hair in a bandana for this lesson 💋
PS come back later tonight for my Bad Dragon video!
One of you sent me a BAD DRAGON!
Bad Dragon is a well-known sex toy company that makes a ton of fun fantasy-themed toys that are customizable to every size, pattern and length you could want, plus it came perfectly wrapped in dildo-printed tissue paper 🤭
It's by far the BIGGEST dildo I've ever tried and blew my mind trying it out. Cum back tomorrow for a sneak peek video on my wall, and the full video to your inboxes!
I know the “going steady” equivalent in today’s society is giving your partner your hoodie but in 1950 it was giving them your letter sweater 💋
2024-08-14 11:00:19 +0000 UTC View PostFinally got around to learning how to use my new camera and spent the afternoon lazing around using one of my favorite toys - A Bad Dragon 🐉💚
The full-length video is in your inboxes! ‼️
Originally this was going to be about my rad 1970s New Orleans Playboys tee (a bowling team tee!) but really the jeans are the star of the show here.
Levi’s pls sponsor me.
(Another time I’ll tell you about the history of denim and the wild adventures of vintage hunters out west who go digging in old mines looking for antique workwear)
Here's a little video that ended up on the cutting room floor: trying out my tentacle dildo on my fucking machine 🤭
2024-08-12 22:00:58 +0000 UTC View Post
💜💜💜
Never met a sheer vintage robe I didn’t like.
Sunday funday! A little behind the scenes testing out my different dildos on the fucking machine ❤️🔥💕
2024-08-11 11:00:21 +0000 UTC View Post
Glamour shots in the pool 🧜🏻♀️
2024-08-10 11:00:03 +0000 UTC View Post
The nurse will see you now! 💋
I’m wearing a vintage nurses’ costume. The hats nurses used to wear originated somewhat with the nursing profession being associated with nuns who wore them as they cared for the sick, and were a part of typical nun modesty dress.
From there, it became a way to contain a woman’s hair.
As society learned more about germ theory, and nursing became a less-gender-biased role, the caps went to the wayside in favor of scrubs.
I was today years old when I learned that Helen of Troy WAS NOT A REAL PERSON!
When I got this gold bikini I had visions of Troy (a la Diane Kruger circa 2002) with laurels for my long, wavy hair and some sort of toga-like beach wrap to go with it.
Well, wouldn’t you know that as I sat in the pool brushing up on my Ancient Greek history knowledge, I learned that Helen of Troy was married to of King of Sparta (he’s also not real, but Sparta was), and, due to her beauty was taken by Paris of Troy (Paris wasn’t real, Troy was an ancient city in modern-day Turkey).
Okay, now I’m roped in. So the entire Trojan War, the topic of many a Greek tragedy, the narrative voice behind Homer’s Iliad, and Odyssey, of numerous characters and plays and mythology is ALL COMPLETELY MADE UP.
Blew my mind. I was almost concerned I’d simply consumed one too many cans of High Noon as I sat in the pool reading this but nope, it’s just mythology.
Sure, there are some historical events that informed these pieces of art and literature but by and large it is just simply legend. 💫
It's almost the anniversary of Woodstock! Hard to believe it was 55 years ago that such an iconic moment in music took place, but here we are.
Fun fact: Woodstock is about 40 minutes NORTH of where Woodstock actually took place. The festival was held in Bethel, NY on a farmer's land.
A little langiappe from that latex cuff lingerie set 😮💨
2024-08-06 11:00:04 +0000 UTC View Post
A reproduction of a 1940s summer outfit with a luau-inspired print. If you didn't know, New Orleans is home to a world-renowned Tiki bar who literally wrote the book on modern day Tiki cocktails and houses a huge collection of ultra-rare tiki mugs!
2024-08-04 11:00:21 +0000 UTC View Post
So, I was just goofing around putting on this Medusa costume but boy did the internet hit me with an overwhelming amount of art, opinion pieces, photoshoots, movies, logos, and most intriguing: a mountain of scholarly articles about her sexuality and the impact her tale has had on women's history. I thought this was going to be a lighthearted "hey look at my costume" kind of post but woah.
We all know Medusa as the only mortal Gorgon, from Greek literature, who was a fair, beautiful priestess dedicated to temple of Athena. Poseidon, one of the 12 OG Olympians and god of the Sea, was enamored with her and pursued her relentlessly. Finally, without asking, he had his way with her IN Athena's temple. Not exactly thrilled, Athena blamed Medusa and curses her with snakes for hair and a gaze that turned people to stone.
Athena, enraged at having any competition for her beauty, helped Perseus, a son of Zeus also known as the golden shower (OK he's actually referred to as a shower OF gold but c'mon the joke was right there) gave Perseus the tools to defeat her. Perseus rolls up to Medusa while she's asleep and with Athena's divine intervention, takes her head.
Perseus becomes the hero who defeated the monster Medusa, Medusa goes down in history as a grotesque character known only for her curse, and Athena proudly TAKES THE HEAD AND ATTACHES IT TO HER SHIELD to use as a tool. Wild.
Anyway, this story has been retold by Greek poets, philosophers and academics over time as an ancient case study on the trials and tribulations of women's sexuality. Also, I have a fun Medusa costume (see above). Enjoy 🐍💋
